Good morning. Here’s to another day you don’t get lost following a botched time-travel experiment.
The storms are not about to stop. Exhibit A:
I can’t say anything, because it’s 65 and sunny here in West Hollywood. God loves the gays (obvi). (source)
The trustee overseeing the assets of Ponzi-schemer Bernie Madoff is seeking upwards of $300 million from the New York Mets. Other options extended to the Mets included a trade for Carlos Beltran or foot longs for life. (source)
Members of the armed services who were dishonorably discharged for being gay are working to take out the “dishonorable.” Instead, they’re urging the military to re-list them as “Fabulously On Vaca.” (source)
Next week is Glenn Beck’s birthday, Sarah Palin’s birthday, and a show called “Only in America with Larry The Cable Guy” premieres on the History Channel. I think I’m going to do the American thing and send the whole damn country to rehab. (source)
A new study suggests that oral sex causes cancer. This study was published in the Journal of Things Your Conservative Grandmother Tells You To Avoid Your Almost Inevitable Trip To Hell. (source)
The World Wildlife Fund says the world can be 95% renewable by 2050. That, or whenever they find the giant “reset factory settings” button in the lower mantle. (source)
Kim Kardashian — once in tears and flipping out about a nude cover on W Magazine — now says she loves the photos from her nude shoot. So just in case you already don’t respect her, here’s your chance. A true model for the youth of America. (source)
Hotmail is launching “disposable” e-mail accounts. In the press conference, Hotmail also assured users that the internet bubble is “unpoppable,” and that the Furby will make a great Christmas gift. (source)
With hundreds of flights to Dallas canceled, Super Bowl-bound fans are freaking out. Since when have Green Bay and Pittsburgh fans NOT been industrious? If they can’t pull together a sled dog team, I have little hope for everyone else in this country. (source)
Sidebar: I love college sports.
The Catholic Church has published a pamphlet titled “Wicca and Witchcraft: Understanding the Dangers.” Among the dangers? Too much earth-lovin’ and Christine O’Donnell. (source)
A dating site called Lovely-Faces.com has lifted details from 250,000 from Facebook for its initial database of users. But that’s nothing compared to the other 99% of Facebook profiles, which were lifted for Lonely-People.org. (source)
AND TODAY’S QUOTE OUT OF CONTEXT:
“I am honored to be sold in the prestigious manner usually reserved for foreclosed homes and champion hogs.” — Stephen Colbert (source)
That’s your week of loglines. Check back on Monday — that is, unless you’re too chicken, McFly.
life's little loglines 